The Manly Journal
by TheOriginalUser
Summary: Dean hates Sam with every fibre of his being, but he loves what he gave him, with more than that. And he loves Castiel too, yeah, Cas is there for him, but he comes later. -MPreg if you didn't know by seeing that it was me writing it also Cas is just a normal dude with a dead hunter father trying to get his shopping done. lol also under the characters Sam and Dean.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay the first chapter ( this chapter ) of this story will be all Manly Journal entries lol and the rest will be from Dean's POV ( mostly ) and with some journal entries interspersed in there if I feel Dean needs to rant or whatever. Cool? Cool. Oh and this chapter is quite long lol...if you didn't already notice :)**

_**Sunday July 13th 2009**_

_Okay, so lets get this out there first thing. I love my baby brother...okay, I am IN love with my baby brother! You might ask...are you serious? As a heart attack. I have wet dreams about him (I am NOT going into detail!) and I always joke, when he catches me, that they're about some smokin busty chick...not in the least, last time I tried to hook up with a girl, I couldn't get it up! Busty Asian Beauties? No luck. My own thoughts about the perfect girl? Not even half mast...Hell, not even the slightest of stirrings down there. At first I didn't get it, then, well then, Sammy took a shower...and forgot his clothes...so out he comes, dripping wet, tiny motel towel all that's covering him. I swear to God! I was hard instantly! And I was freaking out so bad! I booked it out of there, I didn't actually leave, just went and sat in the Impala, and if I'm being honest? Beat one out...I thought, since I'm hard, I'll think of girls? but that made me "deflate" a little...boys? A little more deflated...SAMMY? For God's sake! I think I came in record time. I am disgusted with myself...what the fuck is my problem?_

_**Wednesday July 23rd 2009**_

_ Sam is dead asleep in the motel where I left him, eighty or ninety miles ago...I don't know. Fuck I'm crying. God damn it! I know he's dead asleep because he was dead drunk when he passed out...after practically raping me. It's been so long since I've written...do you feel violated? That you hardly know me, and now I'm telling you how my little brother told me he loved me, raped me, then passed out drunk? Fuck me, I'm talking to a notebook. Do you know what it's like to drive nearly onehundred miles after your shithead brother rams his monster dick up your ass without even lube? NO? it feels like the worst form of torture is what it feels like! Mother FUCKER! I think I would just cry if I saw him, FUCK! I want to kick his ass into next year! I want to castrate him! I want to kill him! I know he'll go to Hell, for sure now, the bastard! FUCK FUCK FUCK!_

_**Thursday August 28th 2009**_

_ Back again...right now it's...11:33 am and this morning, I was nearly decapitated by the vampire I was hunting because I was too busy throwing up (yet again) to pay attention to my surroundings. Fuck, I'm laying low until this flu or whatever the fuck sort of stomach bug it is passes._

_**Thursday September 4th 2009**_

_ It's been exactly a week since I told you I was laying low...two since I got sick...I've never been sick for so long..._

_**Thursday September 18th 2009**_

___Another thursday, I actually have good news...I've stopped getting sick, awesome! Well good and bad, bad being I don't want any bacon cheeseburgers...weird, and so fucked up...I want rabbit food..._

_**Tuesday September 23rd 2009**_

___I haven't talked to Sam in two months and nine days...at first, he tried to call, several times a day, with twice as many texts...untill I got a new phone...I would feel bad, if he hadn't have done what he did...I still hate him so much! I know... that what I first told you was that I was in love with him..,but you can't forgive someone who raped you, I still love him, he's my little brother, he's still Sammy. But I hate every last fibre in his being! I hate all the thoughts I ever had about him, sexually. I hate him...you don't get it. And I could never explain..._

_**Friday September 26th 2009**_

_ I saw him today! Walking down the street with a bag of groceries! Fuck! He's probably on the same case! He didn't see me and for that I'm gratefull, he also doesn't seem to be staying in the same motel, he would know the Impala in a heartbeat and come knocking. Which is why I'm leaving. Why the hell wouldn't I?_

_**Saturday October 11th 2009**_

___I thought I should write something...but I really have nothing to say...I haven't even been on any exciting hunts, all I've had is three salt and burns..._

_**Sunday November 23rd 2009**_

_ It's been a while, you were literally collecting dust in the trunk. You...God at least you don't have a name, or I don't start every entry with somthing faggoty like "Dear Diary" and that's because this is a...manly journal...who the fuck am I trying to kid?_

_ I have the worst news possible! My six pack is gone! I haven't even thought about it until today...I was drying off in the bathroom and I saw myself in the mirror and I HAVE A PUDGE! Pudge has replaced my six pack! What the hell? I don't get it! I've been eating healthier than ever before! And I have PUDGE! What the fuck is going on? And I can't stop touching it! It's not even squishy like Sammy's was when he was little, it's still firm like my six pack but it's round and my abs are gone! What the Hell?_

_**Saturday December 12th 2009**_

_ It's December, the year is coming to a close, and it looks like the only thing I'm getting for Christmas is...fat...Since I first noticed the pudge, it's doubled in size...I am officially fat...well if it grows like this for a few more weeks and people can see it under my shirt...then I'm fat...but I am so fat!_

_**Friday December 25th 2009**_

___Merry Christmas...me...it's been another three months since I last saw Sam, so that makes, right about, five months and ten days. And I'm freaking myself out, because, I've seen this...well heard about it...and I about pissed myself the first time I thought it...but I don't think that my pudge is even a pudge at all...and I would die of humiliation if I ever had to say this out loud or to anyone but you...but I'm starting to think that my pudge...is a bump...a baby bump...God damn I'm crazy, this can't be happening to me._

_**Saturday December 26th 2009**_

___Worst Christmas...EVER! I waited two days for some convenience store to open! The whole time freaking myself out about how I could be pregnant...Now I'm waiting five minutes...for four different tests. I stare at the clock on the wall, each minute that ticks by feels like an eternity in it's self...finally! The five minutes are up! I just flipped the first test...positive, but there are three others..._

_ Fuck me up the ass! All four are a clear positive...What the fuck am I supposed to do?_

_ Merry fucking Christmas, here have a child! Hey...thanks...FUCKING FUCK FUCKER!_

_** Friday January 1st 2010**_

___Happy New Years...the last four days I think I've been in shock...I didn't even get out of bed on the 28th last month...I am however, fascinated with my bump...now that I know it's a bump...now that I know that there Is a tiny human being in there, she's depending on me...me, to keep her safe and warm and fed...she...I think it's a girl, I don't know why but I hope it is. I think I'll be writing more often...I still have no clue what I'm going to do..._

_**Saturday January 16th 2010**_

_ I am now the proud owner of...a decently sized house...three bedrooms and two and a half baths. Call me crazy but it's close to Bobby's...he doesn't know that yet, he thinks I'm in Oregon...I forgot to tell you that I've been keeping in touch with Bobby who I'm sure is keeping Sam updated on how I'm doing...sometimes he tells me about Sam, what he's been hunting, where he's at, and that's nice because I make it a point to steer clear of those places and the towns nearest them...He keeps asking when he'll see me...Next time he says where Sam is, hopefully out of state, and hopefully before I get to big, I'll pay him a visit, he'll tell Sam about it, and Sam will probably drop dead...I'm nearing six months...my bump is still realativly small...well small enough to hide under my coat, good thing it's January..._

_**Sunday January 17th 2010**_

___Sam is in Utah, I talked to Bobby last night and hinted at Sam, he told me that he's hunting a witch in Utah. I'm taking a little drive over to Bobby's here in a minute._

_ It really is a good thing that Bobby isn't really a hugger...he was definitly surprised to see me. We talked for quite a while..mostly about hunting, a little about Sam, a lot about me. He did get a little weird when I didn't take my coat off but I just said I was cold and he dropped the subject...I really did miss him..._

_**Saturday January 23rd 2010**_

___Six months in, today she gave her first big kick! Untill now it's just been little flutters of movement but this one was a little painful, I'm proud, she'll whoop ass when she's older. I just realized today that I have no clue what I'm doing...I have nothing for her! And what I'm most terrified about is how she's coming out...I've heard of dudes getting knocked up, but never how the children came out...fuck me.._

_**Tuesday January 26th 2010**_

_ I've been doing research, well as much as I can seeing as there isn't alot out there...but...apparently there's this...opening? That will form...around the eighth month...and...thank God! But I have to feed her formula...then again, everything I read...said to let her...latch...I'm a little freaked out...it's supposed to strengthen the bond...I don't get it, because alot of new moms (females) don't breast feed at all..._

_**Thursday January 28th 2010**_

___I hustled at quite a few bars yesterday...got a good sum of money, and at first I was...scared...to go shopping for her, but I got over that and the sales lady really helped me out. I went to this little shop in the next town, and I blame the hormones for making me even think the word, but everything was so...cute...I got her an entire matching bedroom set and even her high chair matches. I'm sure it's a girl, and the lady at the store helped me pick out a bunch of outfits for her. Even a few toys. Plus bottles and diapers and wipes and so many things I thought I would have to make several trips to get it all back to the house...but this lady, Lacy, she was so kind and offered to take back the big things with her truck when she got off...I am such a chick..._

_ So I ran around town for a bit untill she got off and then she followed me home. She swore up and down that she didn't have any place to be and even stayed and helped me put everything together, she folded and put away all of the clothes I bought, and even made the bed..._

_ ...I am such a girl..._

_**Sunday January 31st 2010**_

___Bobby told me yesterday that Sam was planning on heading out there today, so before hand I pulled the Impala into the garage. Now my mind is running a million miles a minute, thinking how he's just down the street. I've been in bed all day, curled up, having a mostly one sided conversation with my daughter..usually when I ask her a question she kicks. But maybe that's my imagination...maybe she's hungry...I am...I'm going to go eat.._

_**Friday February 5th 2010**_

___I got a book today, it's a little late but..oh well, I'm early into my seventh month now, three months to go, when I think that I lose my breath. I have to think of a name for her...I'm huge and still growing..._

_ Alecia, Addie, Anna, Annaleigh, Cassy, Allie, Lucy, Emma, Lilly, Gracie...I don't know...Hope? Leah? I have a little time still to think it over._

_**Monday February 8th 2010**_

_ This book...is useless..._

_ I swear I've doubled in size, I feel like a fucking whale, and my feet are all swollen and my boots are so uncomfortable and I don't even want to get up. Fuck._

_**Friday February 19th 2010**_

___Okay, the book isn't as useless as I thought, it told me how to get rid of my back pain. Not that it helped for long because I've been up and doing laundry and cleaning all day._

_**Tuesday February 23rd 2010**_

___Lacy, remember her? From the baby store? She's coming over today. To hang out, to help me clean up the yard a bit so it can be ready when Spring comes around and this place can not look like a place I would have squatted in eight months ago._

_ Oh, seven months in! Two to go and I'm excited...a little nervous and scared but so excited!_

_**Friday March 5th 2010**_

___She's wiggling more than ever in there, she's making it hard to sleep._

_ I talked to Bobby today, told him I wouldn't be around for a while._

_ I can't believe that in two months I'll see my baby girl, it seems so close and like and eternity away at the same time._

_** Monday March 15th 2010**_

___Annaleigh (Pronounced Annalee) Hope Winchester._

_**Tuesday March 23rd 2010**_

___Three entries in thirty days? Not alot but now I'm eight months down, one to go. And I'm praying I don't gain anymore weight..._

_ Oh...and...that...opening we talked about a few months back? Well it's starting to feel...sensitive around the area where...it's supposed to be..._

_**Wednesday March 31st 2010**_

___That...opening is there...and my back pain is worse than ever. Less than a month before I meet Annaleigh. Lacy has been bringing me food, and helping so much with housework, I stay in bed alot of the time, really trying not to stress myself out._

_**Thursday April 8th 2010**_

___We've passed thirty seven weeks, she is fully developed and ready to come out in the next few weeks!_

_**Friday April 9th 2010**_

___I said next few weeks? She decided today was her day! My water broke so it's not braxton hicks, I'm getting the tub ready, hopefully in a few hours, she'll be here!_

**And that is the end of that :) SHE'S HERE :)**


	2. Chapter 2

She has my eyes, my mouth, my ears, my blonde hair. Sam's nose and curls.

She is the most perfect little girl I have ever laid my eyes on, and I don't feel bad thinking it because every parent does. My child is perfect. Even as she starts to wail. Probably wondering what the fuck happened. She's a perfect 6 pounds 7 ounces and 19 inches long.

I carefully climb out of the dirty water and grab her blanket, wrapping her snugly in it and I hold her to me. I stand, naked and sore on the cold tiles of the bathroom and rock her until she stops screaming, I rock her until she falls asleep, having tired herself out crying.

I make my way slowly into my room where the covers are all pulled back on the bed and I gingerly lower myself onto the matress. As slowly as I can, not wanting to disturb my newborn, I pull the blankets up around my waist. And I watch her, her little face all pink and perfect and new, peacefull in sleep, I watch her untill I drift off as well.

I wake up an hour later, judging by the clock, when Annaleigh starts to fuss and I know I have to get up and fix her a bottle, make sure she's clean and dry, and dress her.

I lay her on the matress next to me and as quickly as I can, get up and pull on some pyjama pants, then pick her up again and take her downstairs to the kitchen. I fix her a bottle and she latches on immediately when i put the nipple to her lips, staring up at me with her perfect, gorgeous, green eyes. I take her back upstairs and to her room, letting her finish the formula while I pull out a long baby grow, a diaper, and socks for her.

The baby grow is one Lacy picked out, hot pink with princess stitched across the chest and a little tiara hanging from the P.

She lays still, without fussing and lets me put on her diaper and dress her. She's almost asleep again when I'm done so I pick her up and place her in the crib. I stay untill she's out then go downstairs for food for myself.

I am utterly dissappointed to open the fridge and find only a swallow of milk, a handfull of rubbery carrots, and half a stick of butter. I was supposed to go shopping today.

"Crap." Well when Annaleigh wakes up we'll go.

I should pack her bag, I sigh and go back up to her room, quietly moving around and gathering things to put in the little pink bag. Before I leave the room I look into her crib to see her staring up at me silently.

"Hey, pretty baby, you want to go out? We have to go to the store. Stay there a sec, okay?" I get her a pair of pants and a coat.

I check her diaper first and find that she's wet so I change her then redress her and place her in her carrier with a small blanket to make sure she's warm enough and strap her in. She looks so small.

I pick her up along with her diaper bag and we go back to the kitchen where I set her on the counter.

"Hold on a second, I have to make you some bottles, then we can leave, okay?" She stares at me.

"You know this thing makes dents in my leather right?" I ask her as I snap her carrier into the base that's already strapped to the seat. "Oh well. Keeps you nice and safe and that's all that matters."

I had already changed the liscence plates when I bought the house, and with the baby stuff still in the car I doubt anyone would think it was mine. So I head out to the store.

(Cas POV)

I'm trying to pick out frozen vegetables when I see him. He seems to be talking to someone or something in his cart but I can't see what. He looks like he's dancing, his hips are swaying, and he's shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He gestures over his shoulder, jerking his thumb in my direction. I look around and I'm the only one here. Then he laughs, deep and light and heartfelt. I find myself blushing a little.

(Dean POV)

"Hey, he's pretty cute, don't you think?" I gesture to the man behind me, standing with the freezer door open. I keep shifting my weight, I'm seriously sore, hours after birth is not the time to be grocery shopping.

Annaleigh gurgles and blows a few bubbles, drool dripping down her chin, and I laugh. I lean over to reach into the basket of the cart and grab a burp rag from her diaper bag.

(Cas)

The man leans over and I see what he was talking to. A baby, a little girl, she can't be more than a few days old. I find myself moving towards the pair, forgetting my veggies, the freezer door closing on it's own.

(Dean)

I clean off Annaleigh's face and smile down at her, "All better."

Her eyes drift from me and look over my shoulder.

"She's adorable." I turn around to come nearly face to face with the cute guy.

And by cute I now mean gorgeous, he has the deepest and bluest eyes I've ever seen, and just the right amount of stubble covering his softly angled jaw. And his voice! Deep and...seductive. His hair looks like he just got out of bed or just had sex, I swallow, but still manages to look perfect. He's wearing a blue dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, the top two buttons undone and a tie pullled loose and a pair of grey slacks. He looks like he just got off of work.

"Oh, thank you." I look back to Annaleigh, she's drifting off.

"How old is she?" The stranger smiles kindly.

"Uh," I think back, "three and a half hours...?"

"What?"

"Three and a half hours..."

"And you're running about town with her?"

"Well, I'm a single dad. Listen, I just had her, and I was supposed to go shopping today, I didn't have any food at home, because she came so unexpectedly..." I feel like I'm being scolded.

"You just had her? You?"

"Yeah..." He thinks I'm a freak.

"You shouldn't be up and about either, no wonder you were dancing!"

"Dancing?"

"Oh...you looked like you were dancing because you kept shifting your weight."

"Oh."

"So she's been checked out?"

"...no...I had her at home..."

"Alone?"

"Yes."

He laughs and it startles me a little.

"Well she looks perfectly healthy, but would you like me to check her over?"

"..."

"Oh, so sorry." He holds out his hand, "Castiel Novak, I'm a pediatritian."

"Dean Winchester." I shake his hand, it's warm and soft but with a firm grip. Just right for a pediatritian.

"That would be great. Would...would you mind coming to my house?"

"Not at all, I make house calls all the time." He smiles, a smile that reaches his gorgeous blue eyes.

(Cas)

I never make house calls. But for this man, I'll make an exception. I've talked to him for a total of three minutes, about his daughter none the less, and I'm flustered. Not that I let him see that.

He has the same piercing green eyes as his daughter, the same sun bleached blonde hair, the same mouth, although his I would like very much to kiss. He has the longest eye lashes I've ever seen on a man. I've already noticed that when he's embarrased he looks down and they cast long shadows across his ckeeks. The little crinkles at his eyes when he smiles, his adorable dimples. I wonder what her other father must look like, she obviously has his nose and curls.

"What's her name?"

"Annaleigh Hope."

"That's a wonderful name, I think it fits her." I watch the sleeping child.

(Dean)

He looks down at Annnaleigh, smiling softly.

"You want to check out and I can just follow you back?" He looks back up at me.

"Uh, yeah." I nod, "Sounds good."

He follows me through the checkout and to the parking lot.

"Uhm, that's my car." I point to the Impala. "I don't live too far out of town."

"Okay, that should be easy to follow."

I load up my grogeries, snap in Annaleigh, and leave the store.

"Holy hell Annaleigh." I talk to her even though she's asleep in the backseat. "He's gorgeous. What to you think?"

She coughs slightly.

"Me too."

I'm silent untill I'm standing in the driveway with...Dr. Novak? Castiel?

"Sorry it looks so terrible, I just bought the place and it's been too cold to do anything with it."

"That's alright. I'm sure it will look seriously nice when it's fixed up."

I unlock the door and shuffle myself and Annaleigh into the house, shutting the door behind Dr. Novak.

"Can I get you something to drink? Coffee? I just made a fresh pot before I left."

"Coffee would be nice, thank you." He looks around the front room.

"Okay, make yourself comfortable." I set Annaleigh, still in her seat, in my big armchair, he sit's on the couch next to her. "I'll be right back, how do you take it?"

(Cas)

Uhh...any way you want me to?

"Two each."

"Okay." He smiles, leaving the room.

I look over at his daughter, she's staring right back at me.

"You're a quiet one aren't you?" Her face scrunches into a smile.

I stand and look more closely at the pictures on the wall.

One looks like a younger Dean with a beautiful woman about our age, probalby his mom. Another is him and the same woman, a man who I can see Dean looks very much like, all squished into a hospital bed, with a little blue bundle. Dean is the only one not looking at the camera, instead staring in wonder at the baby. There's one of Dean in a cap and gown, wrestling with a scrawny boy with floppy hair and bright hazel eyes, probably his little brother. One of him, an older woman, and a girl a few years younger than him infront of a building with a sign that reads, _The Roadhouse._ One of him and an older man, who I swear I recognize, bent over Dean's car, covered in grease. One of his brother in a cap and gown as well, standing alone, he obviously filled out since Dean graduated. The last one is of him, his brother, his father, and the man I swear I know from somewhere, at least 13 years ago. All standing in a line, looking like they went through hell, all cut up, bruised, and bloody but grinning like crazy infront of the sign for Singer's Salvage. That's who that is! Bobby Singer! He owns Singer's Salvage! At the bottom of the picture, in small, neat, handwriting it's labled, Sammy's first hunt.

"What the hell were they hunting?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

I jump when Dean speaks up suddenly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"That's alright. But really, what happened that got you so beat up?"

"Werewolves?" Sadly that's the truth, he just doesn't know it.

"Oh, damn, yeah, I've seen some pretty nasty werewolves in my day."

I can't tell if he's being serious or playing along.

"I uh, noticed your salt." He moves over to the front door. "And the mat is a little crooked." He pushes aside the rug with his foot, "Devil's trap's looking faded, you should re-paint that."

I can feel my mouth hanging open as he smirks a little.

"My dad, he was a hunter too."

"I'm not, not really anymore."

"Yeah, children will do that for you. My dad still hunted though, he had mom to take care of us kids. Until he decided we were old enough to hunt with him of course."

"You have siblings?" I change the subject.

"Yeah, a younger brother, Gabriel, and an older sister, Anna. How about your brother?" He gestures to the pictures hanging on the wall, "What's his name?"

"Uh...that's Sam..."

"Are you colse?"

"We...were..."

"Oh." He doesn't push the subject, "Let me get my bag, and I'll see how Annaleigh's doing."

"Okay." I watch him as he goes back out to his car.

"She's extremely healthy considering."

"Considering?"

"Well, because it was a male pregnancy and because she was only thirty seven weeks. Is there really no way your date of conception was wrong?"

"No...it was only the once, so I guess it's just poor luck. Not that I would change it for the world."

"Well, thank you for the coffee, I should get home."

"Don't I owe you?" I place my hand on his arm lightly.

"Yeah." He smiles and I swear blushes the lightest shade of pink as he hands me his card, "Call me, maybe we can get dinner sometime."

"I would like that." I open the door for him and close it when he gets to his car.

**Honestly, I'm thinking this is just a bunch of blah blah, ho well.**

**So, anybody know the song Porn Star Dancing? I love that song, and if I'm honest with you I think the reason I like it is that the first time I heard it I was pretty messed up on spice (my first and last time doing that!) and it was like blaring out in the car I couldn't even have a conversation with the chick sitting next to me! But I was thinking that it was such a Dean song! Like seriously! So Dean! If you haven't heard it, go listen to it, it's awesome!**


	3. Chapter 3

**This is my kind of friday night! :D And my kind of date! You guys seriously need to try cliff jumping, hella fun! I did yesterday! Not the first time, however it was the first time going fifteen feet down into four feet of water! Can you say "Adrenaline junkie"? Plus dropping from a rope swing like five feet into about twenty feet of water is fun too, but that's so so. **

_ _I have a date with the most gorgeous guy ever! And he's sweet too. I really want him to be more than a fuck...god I hate chick flick moments but...I want a serious relationship with this man._

I'm nervous as hell, mostly about leaving Annaleigh with a babysitter. The girl is great, even passed all of my tests, a glass of holy water, a slice of cake and a silver fork, that was even after she got past all of the wards and the salt. But this will be my first time away from her.

The babysitter, Erika, who Castiel reccomended, promised to call if anything happened. She has numbers for everyone, me, Castiel, even Bobby and Sam...but those are for worst case scenario only.

Aside from being nervous about leaving my baby girl, I'm nervous about my date. He didn't say where we were going, only that he'll pick me up at seven, and promises to have me home by a decent time, whatever that means to him, and any way I dress will be fine.

So I wear a button up, jeans, and dad's old leather jacket.

Castiel shows up promptly at seven, flourishing a bouquet of beautiful yellow roses with red tips. '_Falling in Love.' _or so a florist once told me.

"Thank you." I flush as he hands me the flowers.

"I'll put those in water for you Mr. Winchester." Erika offers, so I hand her the flowers and she shoos me out the door alongside Castiel. "Have fun."

"Where are we going?" I ask as he holds open the passenger side door for me and helps me up and this isn't the same car he was driving earlier, not by a longshot. Earlier it had been some sissy, "green", probably half electric little car, now he's driving a giant truck, floodlights on top, tires as tall as the Impala with treads as deep as my little finger is long, full cab and long bed, it more likely than not runs on diesel.

He smiles, "You'll see." His lips are slightly chapped from the cold and his cheeks are tinted a chilly shade of rose. The days are getting warmer but the nights are still cold. "You'll have fun, I promise. Just give it a chance."

"That makes me worry a little. Especially since you feel the need to drive a monster truck to get to where we're going."

"This," He says as he climbs (literally) into the drivers seat, "is my pride and joy, my baby, I built it from the ground up myself. Got all the parts from a salvage place down the road."

"I'm impressed." Hoping he didn't notice my reaction to Bobby's salvage yard.

"Don't worry, it doesn't take long to get there. But we are going off road. So seatbelt please. And if you really feel the need, the "Oh shit!" bar is right here." He reaches over to point out the handle on the ceiling just above the door.

"Awesome." I buckle myself in and then imediately grab the "Oh shit!" bar, laughing a little to myself.

"I'll take it easy, promise."

"This is what you call taking it easy?" I rub my head as it had, once again, made impact with the ceiling.

"Sorry." He laughs, over the music and the rattling of whatever he has in the bed. "But actually, this is taking it easy. Here." He reaches over and pulls my seatbelt out all the way so that it locks, then pulls it tight across my lap, "That'll keep you from jumping around so much."

"Thanks." He hits another pot hole filled with muddy water and my body tries to leave the seat, but the belt across my hips keeps me against the leather, probably bruising the flesh underneath it.

"It evens out just up ahead, then it's just two or three minutes until we get to where we're going."

"Which is where exactly?"

"Patients is a virtue."

I sigh.

Lights are shining through the trees ahead of us, so I know we're close. What we come upon though is just a small group of trucks, all parked in a clearing and a group of forty or fifty men and women, who all start to cheer when they see Castiel arrive.

He stops in an open space, and gets out before coming around, and helping me out.

A few guys part from the group and come towards us. They greet Castiel with hugs and hearty slaps on the back.

One guy stands out to me, and I panic for only a second, because I could have sworn it was Sam. But I calm down once I see that it isn't.

I shake all of their hands as I am introduced to Chuck, Tyson, Gabriel (Castiel's younger brother), Lawrence, Allen, and Dwayne (the one that looks like Sam).

Gabriel laughs with Castiel, "Where'd you find him?"

Castiel flushes a shade of pink noticable even in the dark, and mumbles, "I met him...through a patient...well...technically at the supermarket."

"Oh, so he's got a kid!" Gabriel detatches himself from Castiel, attempting to put his arm around my shoulder but failing, being at least a foot shorter, if not more. "So, how old is the kid? Boy or girl? What's it's name?"

I look over to Castiel, he gives me an apologetic look, before being pulled away by the others.

"Uhm...a girl, Annaleigh, she's seven-"

"Wow! Seven? So, what, you were twenty five, twenty six?"

"Uh...she's seven days old..." I correct him.

"Oh, damn! So what about her mom?"

"What?"

"Her mom? The chick you knocked up? She left you so soon after? I mean, it is a date you're on with Cassie isn't it?

"No, she didn't leave me, I left him, Annaleigh has two fathers."

"Oh! So it's like that! Cool, yeah, my uncle is like that too. Crazy that one is though, his kids all turned out little demons!"

"Uh...yeah..."

"So, this is a date right?"

"Uhm, I don't know."

"Oh, well, I'll get you back to Cassie." The over exhuberent little man leads me through the trees, further into the woods.

It takes a minute, but soon we can hear music blaring and people laughing and shouting. This song is one of my favorites, Pornstar Dancing. There's light coming through the trees again we come out in about four acres of open land, at the far end there's a barn that looks like it's falling apart and hasn't been fixed up in years, still, there are people running around in the loft, you can tell by the flashlights that flash through the missing slats occasionally. And in the center there is a bonfire raging, people sitting on tree stumps or on blankets and chairs spread around.

Further out, nearer the edge of the forest burns a few smaller fires, surrounded by rings of two person tents. Every person has either a bottle, can, or red Solo cup filled with what I would assume to be alchohol.

"Dean!" Castiel runs over to me, breathing heavily as he stops, "Sorry I got pulled away. And sorry you had to deal with Gabe."

The short man is no where to be found.

"That's okay. I think I actually like him." I laugh.

"That would be a first." He laughs.

"Cassie!" A woman squeals as she jumps up onto his back, dripping wet and dressed in only a bikini, breath coming out in quick, shallow clouds of steam in the freezing air. "This the new beau?" I can't be sure, seeing as I don't know her, but I'm pretty sure she's drunk.

"Anna..." Castiel peels the woman off of his back, "You need to slow down."

"Boo!" She sticks her tongue out at Castiel and then simply runs off, back the way she came, into the trees.

"Uhh, that was my older sister, Anna."

"It's quite the family you have."

"Yeah...hey, could you help me get a few things from the truck?"

"Of course." I follow him back to the clearing with the cars.

He drops the tail gate.

"Help me set up?"

"Set up?"

"Here." He hands me an electric pump and a queen sized air matress.

I hold them and look at him.

"You really think you're going to want to make your bed when you're dead drunk? No. you'll just want to fall into it and sleep."

"Castiel...I don't know..."

"I'm not forcing you to comit to anything, Erika's been paid for the full night, and well into tomorrow, but maybe just see how it goes for a few hours? Then if you want to, I'll take you home."

"Okay."

"She has five different emergency numbers, not including nine one one." He reassures me. "Everything will be fine."

A rush, that's what it is. Jumping twenty feet over a waterfall into the pool below, with all the depth of six feet, and nothing but sand at the bottom. I thought cutting off a vampire's head pumped adrenaline through my veins but this is something different. Like riding a roller coaster for the first time as soon as you reach forty eight inches. Without the restraints, without the rules, with out the parents, and without quite as much brain function as you should have when doing such a thing. But what are you going to do after ten (fifteen?) shots of eighty proof flavored vodka, a few cups of beer, those fruity, disgustingly sweet drinks Gabe had forced on you.

I meet Cas at the edge of the pool and he hands me another cup full of beer.

"Are you having fun?"

"This is insane!"

"This is Friday night."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, this happens about every week."

"Damn. What time is it?"

He reaches for his phone on the beach behind us.

"Eleven."

"I'm gonna go back to the truck and check in with Erika."

"Okay, I'll go with you. Buddy system."

I laugh, "Okay." I climb out of the water, helping him up after me. A girl shrieks behind us as she's pushed over the waterfall.

We stumble our way back through the woods and to the truck, it takes a minute for Cas to unlock the doors, and then a few minutes for me to figure out how to open the door from way down here, thinking I can't reach the handle, before Castiel bumps into me, opening the door. Then I have to rummage through my pants, going throught the same pocket several times over before finding my phone. I press the speed dial for the house and Erika picks up after only a few rings.

"Hello?" She sounds like she was sleeping.

"Sorry if I woke you up. I just wanted to check in."

"No, that's fine, of course, everything is going great here. Annaleigh has been the perfect angel, she's slept silently so far. You sound like you're having fun. Don't worry about us."

I laugh, "That's good to hear. You can tell?"

"Only a little." She giggles.

"Okay, thank you, good night."

"Good night Mr. Winchester."

It isn't until I hang up that I notice Castiel is pressed up against me, same as he was when he opend the door. He's staring up at me.

"I really like you." He breathes.

"I really like you too." I lean down and crush my lips to his, and I can tell he's been with Gabe recently as I slide my tongue passed his blissfully chapped lips and across his own. He tastes like candied raspberries and green apples and oranges and...Cas, he tastes like he smells, not like aftershave and campfire smoke and booze, like Cas.

I sigh into the kiss as he grips the fabric at my hips, water dripping down my leg, leaving behind goosebumps.

We break apart and he rests his head on my shoulder.

"We are...hammered..."

I laugh, "Yeah. We should head back."

"Yeah, okay."

**PARTY! Hell yes! :D That is not the end to their night however, this chapter was just getting long and I was bored of writing lol give me a review ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

By now, I've slowed down on my drinking, and I'm down to a happy buzz. Plus I'm pretty content curled up next to Castiel under layers of quilts, by the dying bonfire barely giving off heat, and the coals giving off only enough light to see the faces of the people nearest the pit.

Castiel is definitely a happy drunk, even now he giggles uncontrollably at something the girl next to him is saying. Gabe comes over trying to give him yet another fruity drink, but I shoo him away.

"He doesn't need anymore." Gabriel pouts but goes off to down the drink himself.

"I wanted that." Castiel pouts next to me, rubbing against my side like a cat vying for attention.

I laugh, "Ten minutes ago you were complaining about being nauseous."

"And now I feel better."

"How about we go swim for a minute?"

"Sounds good?"

"I'll give you a dollar if you jump straight in."

"A dollar?" He stands, swaying from side to side, "Why not a kiss?"

"Anything you want. But you have to do it. No chickening out."

"Okay, I bet the water's still warm even." I can barely understand that sentence his words are so slurred.

"Mmmhmm." I know for a fact that the water has basically turned to ice and that Cas is about to get a nasty shock, I laugh to myself, that's one way to sober up quick.

"I changed my mind."

"You can't." Cas is standing at the edge of the water fall, freezing water rushing around his ankles, arms wrapped tightly around himself.

"Can too, I'm an adult, can make my own decisions."

"If you don't jump I'm pushing you."

"Noooo!" He whines, hopping from one foot to the other.

Imagine our surprise when Gabriel runs out of the trees to shove both of us over the edge, me fully clothed.

"You son of a bitch!" Castiel screams at the shorter man before we hit the water.

I come up first, shaking water out of my hair and laughing. Castiel pops up shortly after looking none too pleased.

"I wasn't really going to push you. But, between you and me, I'll count that." I pull him close, relishing in the heat radiating from his shivering form, and press my lips lightly to his.

Gabriel wolf whistles from above us.

When we pull apart, Castiel flips him off.

"I think I want to get into bed." He's chattering like crazy, but at least I can understand him.

"And I think I'll join you."

"Don't forget a condom!" Gabriel shouts.

"Fuck off Gabe!"

"You can borrow some of my sweats." He pulls a pair out of his bag and hands them to me.

"Thanks." There's a small awkward pause before we both turn around to undress.

I shimmy out of my jeans and boxers, and pull off my shirt without unbuttoning it, then slip into the warm dry sweats. They're a little small, but comfortable at least. I turn back around to face Castiel.

My heart skips a beat. Castiel is fully naked, bent over to pick his own sweats up from the ground. And, God! His ass! My cock gives a stir of interest as I stare, even when he stands up. I watch the way his muscles move under his tight pale skin, by the time he has his pants on I'm half hard.

I blush and look away when he turns back to me.

He coughs a little, gives a half turn to the truck, then turns back, opening and then closing his mouth like he wants to say something. Then he turns and climbs into the bed of the truck, settling under the blankets on the air mattress.

"Goodnight." He mumbles.

I climb in next to him.

"Yeah...night." I lay perfectly still on my back until I fall into an uneasy sleep.

It can't be fifteen minutes later when I wake with a start, Castiel is on top of me, mouthing hotly at my neck and leaving marks I'm sure. He's pressed to me, his weight comforting in a way, as he pants into my shoulder. He's hard, and it's resting hot and heavy on my stomach. My own cock springs into action; I'm hard so fast it hurts.

"C-Cas?"

"I want you so bad." He murmurs into my ear.

I groan, "I want you too. But not like this, not right now. Cas…Castiel, we're pretty drunk, and this is only our first date."

He sighs and rests is cheek against my shoulder, "I know."

There is a slow pregnant pause between us.

"Dean?" Cas props himself up on his elbows over me.

"Hmm?" I reach up and brush some of his unruly hair away from his face.

"Would you may be like to have a second date?"

"I would love to. And I would also love to get some sleep." I yawn, noticing that the far reaches of the sky are turning shades of cotton candy pinks and blues.

"Kay." Castiel mumbles tiredly while trying to roll off of me.

I grip his waist, "Don't go though." I pull his body flush against mine where he shifts around for a second, twining his legs and mine, and settling his head more comfortably on my shoulder, facing towards me, with his warm breath ghosting over my skin with every exhale.

"Goodnight." I whisper, pressing a small kiss to the top of his head.

"Night..." He gives one final sigh before his breathing evens out and he becomes completely slack on top of me.

"Ohhhhh! My head!" Castiel groans when we wake up, burrowing into my shoulder to shield himself from the bright mid-day light. "How much did you let me drink last night?" The slighter man grumbles.

I just laugh; I haven't had a hangover in years. "I was supposed to keep track? Gabe kept up a steady supply of booze for you, right up until we jumped in the river."

"I blame you for that one."

"_I_ wasn't the one that pushed you and need I remind you, that I was allowed quite the rude awakening as well." I try to keep a straight, upset face, but it slips into a soft smile as he frowns. More of a pout really, and it works surprisingly well for his mature, angled face.

He grimaces, "Aren't you hung over at all?"

"No, that's a skill I've worked on for years."

"I hate you." He grumbles as he hides his face again. "Mm, you're warm." He burrows closer under the three piled sleeping bags, stubble grazing and tickling at the junction of my neck and shoulder.

I hum at the heat radiating off of his lithe frame.

"You can whine so pitifully at your hangover, yet you still have brain function for a boner?"

"It doesn't require brain function." He presses down into my hip, "And you're one to talk." His thigh sneaks its way between my own with teasing friction before finding a good angle. His pace is painfully slow and deliberate as he thrusts against my hip. His own sweats cling to mine, running the soft interior over the entire length of my cock with each movement of his narrow hips.

All I want to do is have his skin on my own. Slipping and sliding through sweat and come. All I want is to see him writhing beneath me, making those pretty, delicious sounds the same as now. All I want to feel is his hips gripped tight in my hands and my dick gripped tight in his pretty little ass. And I wonder what his ass feels like.

The friction is slow and delicious, and going nowhere fast.

Castiel's too big sweats ride lower and lower with every thrust against my body and so I help them on their way down, pushing them down to his knees, as far as I could.

A mewl of surprise escapes his mouth between breathy moans.

His legs are trapped, hanging awkwardly in the legs of his sweats. He attempts to keep up his movements, but it proves difficult.

He huffs, "Dean..."

I flip us so that he's underneath me; he just stares up in surprise.

The heated red of his cheeks highlights the sliver of gorgeous blue still surrounding his blown pupils. His lips parted, panting slightly, sending heavy puffs of steam into the cold air. His hair more of a disaster than I've ever seen and still managing to look perfect, framing his face and head in an auburn halo against the pillow.

His eyes shift away from my face, as if embarrassed by my inspection.

"What?" He mumbles, whole face turning away.

"Nothing, just that...well...I could get used to seeing you like this." I murmur before leaning down to press a kiss to the corner of his lips.

The deep rose shade seeps from his cheeks, across the bridge of his nose, and up over his ears, only making the blue of his eyes stand out more.

"I wouldn't mind that, but right now..."

I don't say anything; just pull his sweats the rest of the way down and off.

When I reach for the hem of his shirt his arms automatically go up to help me get it off of him.

I kiss him. Just a light peck, first on the lips then his nose, over each of his eyes, both of his cheeks, and back to his mouth. I move down, biting sharply behind his ear and carefully gauging his reaction.

His hips cant up and he groans.

I lap at the tender spot, following the already forming, circular bruise with my tongue and Castiel shudders under me.

I chuckle, a sound that rumbles, low and fast through my chest.

As I make my way down I stop at his adams apple, sucking softly, leaving behind only a quickly fading red spot.

Then at the junction of his neck and shoulder, sucking and biting a dark mark into the tender skin reveling in the quiet moans he rewards me with and the way he squirms and tries to thrust up past my hands that firmly hold his hips down to the mattress.

Cas groans, "Come on! All I could think about...all week...was how hot it would be...to watch you and feel you fuck me...so good that I blackout when I come."

"And who would I to be to deny you that?" At this point, I'm not thinking about how I only met this man a week ago, or how this is our first date. All I'm thinking about is how badly I want to be in him.

"A real asshole at this point, is who you would be."

I laugh and I kiss him.

"Hey! Cassie! Caaaasstieeellll! Oh brother of mine! Are you still sleeping?" Gabriel's head pops over the side of the bed of the truck in time to find us motionless and pretending to be asleep.

"Cas! Cassie! Castiel! Castieeeeelllllll!" Gabe continues to shout.

Castiel shifts under me, pretending as if he's just woken up.

"What?" The slighter man grumbles.

"Get up! Come on, and wake up your boyfriend, too! We're going to lunch."

"Now?" Cas groans.

"Yes, now. Let's go! I'll wait right down here for you two."

We both sit up, pulling our pants back into place.

"Could we get a rain check?" Castiel looks up at me hopefully.

"Yeah, rain check." I lean forward and kiss him.

Gabe is back to peering at us over the side of the truck and he wolf whistles.

Castiel throws a pillow at his brother's head, but he's laughing.

"So, am I required to go to lunch? I would really like to get back to Annaleigh."

"I would really like it if you came out to lunch with us. How about, we go back to your place and we could pick her up, take her with us?"

I think about it, I'm on the fence about the idea for a moment before my stomach growls at me and I remember that it was once again a day for grocery shopping and the only thing I had at home was formula.

"Okay."


End file.
